Tales of the Morbidly Obese

I'm dreaming of a Winter Onederland

You know the White Christmas song right?  The Bing singing it.  It is a Christmas classic.  Well, my perversion on the theme is that I am and have been dreaming of hitting ONEderland for SIX days.  My weight has gone neither up nor down for 6 days!  I am so close to being in the 100's, for the first time in over 12 years, that I can taste it.  Does that mean I am trying to literally taste it?  No.

Food is a bit of an issue for the moment.  Since the disastrous pizza incident the night before Thanksgiving, I have not been very hungry for anything.  I do, however, enjoy radishes and boiled peanuts very much right now.  I have also partaken of very small slivers of my homemade pecan pie that was left over from Thanksgiving (only twice).  It is long gone now as the dh devoured the rest. 

Will I see the 100's?  Yes.  I know it is going to happen, but land-sakes when?  It seems like such a milestone to me. 

Latest dilemma- I have not purchased any clothing for myself during the downslide with the exception of 2 pieces of warm gear to play tennis in.  No bras, no jeans- nothing.  I am making what I have work or some have been gracious enough to pass along some of their cast-offs.  It is fine, but I became aware that I needed 1 pair of black boots to complement several of the things that I can actually wear especially during this festivity rich holiday season.  I bought a knee-high pair this weekend which I did not zip in the store because I had jeans on.  I took them home to try.  The right one zips up all the way.  The left zips up until about 4-5 inches below my knee.  I measured then proceeded to tape measure my calves to determine the problem.  My right calf is 16.5 inches.  My left is 17 inches.  The dilemma is deciding whether to keep the boots in hopes of dropping more "calf" weight or take them back and give up? 

All of these issues make for great avoidance of the real stressors of the holidays, yes?

For This I am Truly Thankful

Lest this entire blog be only about the DS surgery, I wanted to reflect on the joy in my life.

• My Husband- always has my side.  always supportive. funny. makes me happy.
• My 2 Sons- what hellions they are.  they are mine.  beautiful.  funny.  intelligent.
• My Home- that I can live here.  can raise my sons.  entertain. 
• My Friends- few that can stand me.  great comforts.  grateful to have them.
• My Neighbors- friendly. welcoming. 
• My Surgery- what?  greatest gift for me.  new life.  freedom from food.
• My Family- down on the list, but precious none the less.
• My WLS friends- can discuss issues with them like no others.
• My Blogworld- you. the blogs I read. makes the journey so much more.

On this American holiday of caucasian imperialism, I am truly thankful for the abundance in my life.  I am also truly thankful for the abudance I am missing this year- all 76.4 pounds of it.  Thank you.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

I join in a discussion group on Obesity Help in the Duodenal Switch surgery forum. I recently posted about the annoying reactions I get from skinny people about my weight loss.  They are pretty over the top most times.  In that post, I wrote that I do not readily tell people about my surgery.  When asked, I mention the small portions, the exercise, the water and no alcohol.  Well, many on the OH page felt like I was doing a disservice to MO people, to the surgery and to my surgeon by not talking about the surgery.  They felt stigmas would be lifted as people discussed it more openly (like mental illness).  There are reasons why I do not spout the gospel of the DS to everyone within earshot. 

While I do not disagree with their sentiment, I feel like it is my place-my time.  I want to be an advocate on my terms.  I am very vocal about the surgery here, on OH and at my WLS support group meetings.  I want people to know the benefits of the Duodenal Switch surgery specifically.  I also want to help folks who are seeking information.

As for casual friends and neighbors, I do not want to be watched at every function for each morsel and drop I place in my mouth.  Also, some people watch you waiting for you to fail-to regain.  If that were to happen to me, I will already have audience enough without inviting more to the freak show. 

This decision did not come lightly to me, but I have already spent a great deal of time justifying it to the few that do know.  Why anyone gets to tell me what kind of surgery to have I do not know, but it happens.  I want to have more evidence of the efficacy of the surgery prior to the big reveal- i.e. more weight lost.  I will have to deal with the aftermath of the deception later.

Some people do not need to know.  Do you tell a casual acquaintance that you need surgery?  Not always.  I want to be an effective advocate for this surgery, but I do not want to butt heads with folks whose minds will never be open to the idea. 

What did you do or would you do?  How did that work for you?  Should I be out and proud? 

4 Months Today and a New Low

4 months ago today, I went under the "knife" for laproscopic doudenal switch surgery.  It has been amazing.  I have lost 71.8 for a new low of 208.2!  I have not weighed so little since shortly after my marriage in 1993.  I lost a total of 15.6 pounds for this 4th month.

I love an exercise now.  It is tennis.  I would play it EVERYDAY if I could.  This is the same girl who would seemingly spend hours doing nothing and now I play tennis.  Love, love, love it!

I did not think things would happen this fast.  I was hopeful that I would be 70 pounds down by Christmas.  It know looks like it might be closer to 80-85!  I am 58.2 pounds from my personal goal. 

I love food still, but it no longer has the hold on me that it once did.  I can have a bite or two or three of something and still stop.  The craziest thing is that I do NOT want sugary things in the least.  Most even taste bad to me- a chemical taste.  Sugarfree is grotesque.  I still love salty/crunchy/spicy!  My favorite night snacks are either a V-8 with lemon juice or boiled peanuts~.

I will be posting some new pics in the next week.  I have to take them and load them up.  Probably will not be a big physical change from the last pics as they were only 2 weeks ago. 

The DS is the best!  What was the best decision you ever made in your life? Please let me know.

Office Party Challenge

Hubby's office Christmas party is December 9th at this oh so swanky country club.  I have set a goal for myself.  When I envisioned the challenge, my weight was 215.  My goals are to:

• Lose 16 pounds to make it to ONEDERLAND
• Increase my fluid intake to 80oz. per day
• Commit to doing 5 hours of exercise per week
• Be accountable for these goals

This challenge was posted to the Obesityhelp DS group.  I am also posting it here and Ezpy has joined the challenge as well.  The whole point was to increase something you are lagging in and being realistic in your goal setting.  I know that more water is needed by my body.   I know exercise has brought me along way thus far, but I want to do more than play tennis.  I am asking any of you who read to join as well.  You are welcome to comment here or send me an email.  This is a short challenge.  We will all move forward (& down) in this month.

Here is my progress so far.  I have done 5.5 hours of exercise since I began the challenge on December 8th.  I have done great with my fluids because I HAD to report it to group.  I have lost 3.8 pounds towards my goal.  Who wants to commit?

Mane of Glory

My hair is falling out.  Yes, I knew it was a side effect of surgery.  It has happened before.  When I did Optifast way back when it fell out then too.  Also after each child, always at 3 months.  In another 2 months, I should be fine.  I have lots of fine hair, so I am not too worried.

Many MO people are truly concerned about the hair loss to the point that they do not want to get the surgery.  I am sure it is terrifying not knowing whether it will come back.  However, being normal with thin hair is better than being MO with hair. 

Some people cut it off and go short.  I would never do that as an MO person.  My hair shoulder length now.  It has been a little shorter and much longer.  I think I will get a cut in December and see where I am at that point.  Don't expect a spiky short cut.  I don't have the face for it besides I like a little versatility in my hairstyles- if not in my actual style.

Finally a Progress Picture as Promised

Yes, I was late taking these.  Please do not laugh at the outfit.  We had a charity thing to go to this past month.  I had to dress up.  The top is an 18.  Whoo Hoo!  The skirt I had majorly taken in for the event.  I am trying NOT to buy any new clothes.  This is not the actual night.  I thought I looked so festive that I put them on for progress pictures a few nights later. 

Below the picture, is my before pics.  There is a difference, but still such a long way to go.  I am glad the sun I am getting playing tennis gives me a little color.  To me, the back shot still looks just as wide!  My measurement chart has me down 40 inches total the day these picture were taken. 

Here is a weird thought.  The boys in my house have all had a stomach virus with vomiting and fevers etc.  Despite having tended to the them all, I have not been blessed with the virus as yet.  Do you think my changed innards has any thing to do with that?